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Holding hands: A perfect relationship?

hand hold
Photo by Pat Reddick


Last week as I meandered down the streets of Toronto, with its bespangled skyline littered with towering buildings, enjoying my newly established dalliance with caramel macchiatos.

I paused momentarily and stood there on the intersection of Richmond and Spadina, admiring the spectacle of the amber sun setting behind the cascade of clouds, and obscured by the gigantic concrete structures symbolic of this sprawling city.

The mellow evening sky emblazoned with the modest yellow of the sun canvassed a spectacular kaleidoscope of colours. It was as if the mighty sun was genuflecting to the timid moon, accepting its fate and destiny.

The panoramic scenery, quite uncanny I must say, reminded me of a conversation I had with a friend of mine whom I have always been really fond of and I adore from the four chambers of my heart. She had just broken up with the love of her life and I still recall how those warm tears, precipitated in her light blue eyes, on the cusp of rolling down her olive toned cheeks, slightly caressing her dimples as they strolled down, leaving a vestige of memories on her face that those tears once encapsulated.

It was what followed that has perturbed my rational self since then. As she struggled with the paroxysm of grief that had overwhelmed her, she said, “Who will I hold hands with now?”

People have always pondered over the ideation of love, the relentless search for the ‘one’, and a seething desire for an ever-lasting relationship. I for one believe that the concept of love is quixotic, regardless of all the hosannas young lovers might sing of it.

The idea of the ‘one’ is more of a fable and finds its provenance in folklore. It is all in your mind. You make someone the ‘one’. That means if you can let go off the ‘one’ then that certain individual was never the ‘one’ in the first place or else you wouldn’t be scouting for a new partner.

Secondly, people have to realize that in order for their relationships to succeed, they need to have more faith in Vodka rather than in holding hands.

I’m not generalizing, but a certain cohort of love-struck individuals actually emphasizes holding hands as a way to ward off other individuals who might fancy a drink with their partners. That is the problem. You have to act a bit mature about it.

Many people might disagree with my perspective, but I’d rather have my girl represent me at a social gathering with all her intellectuality and wisdom than hold hands with me.

My interactions with people have also led me to believe that human beings are inherently codified to find love or someone who displays sentiments of care and compassion towards them. Well, sometimes you just have to wait.

And please do not get into ‘long distance relationships’. They are bound to end. It’s equivalent to falling in love with a unicorn or mortgaging a house you are never going to live in. Imagine if one day you’d fall in love with a martian from Mars, what then?

A proper relationship elicits a sense of maturity, rationality, and responsibility. As long as your belief dictates that you can fight dragons or rescue princesses locked away in towers, your relationship is destined for failure.

Think of your potential partner as a human being with dreams, goals, and a passion that you can help them in achieving, rather than an individual who portrays himself as Prince Charming, or for that matter, herself as Cinderella.

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