For this kind of occasion you hope that the trees would be full of bright, vibrant hues of pink, red and white, and the grass would be a beautiful shade of green. Normally the birds would be flying and singing, and the sky would be blue and cloudless, as the wind rustled the trees ever so subtly.
It was a cold and decrepit day; solemn troops drearily drudging through the snow that filled the trenches. Some were carrying young, others were crying, many simply looked forward, carrying themselves pensively as they continued their dreary mission.
There wasn’t a smile among the soldiers as they finally arrived at their destination. A man moved about the mob, dressed in elegant garb, chanting and swinging incense as he went. He spoke in a language I didn’t know as he led the mass through the sea of snow and stone, until we came to a ditch.
Ally leaned on me, sobbing and wailing like the old ladies. The elegant man now spoke in English.
“We are here to see a young man, taken far too early from this world, from us, cast into the eternal abyss. It is unclear to us, the divine method of the Lord, but we must trust in his judgment, and understand that he will forever more, be in a better place.”
The priest took two coins and placed one on each of the young man’s eyes. “I have been told that his dear friend, who joins us today, would like to say a few words.”
My jaw fell open a little. Ally and I were the only two there, and he certainly wasn’t referring to Ally. She nodded me onward with a faint smile, and I began to shimmy my way toward the casket. I turned and faced his friends, his relatives and his grave.
What should I say? Should I tell them all how he died from an illegal drug overdose? That he was a jerk? Should I tell them how much I resented his confidence, his good looks and his sex life? Should I tell them how I loved him? How I resented and envied him?
“Zeke was my best friend, and I’ll miss him.” I choked out as I began to cry, though why I’ll never know. The priest put his hand on me and cast me back into the ocean of cold, mourning victims.
Ally came over and held me as I slumped into the snow by a crooked bare tree on the outskirts of the ceremony. The chanting started again; followed by prayers in a language I couldn’t understand. I gazed back through tear filled eyes.
The priest chanted and swung the incense as Zeke was lowered into the ground. Many threw flowers, many cried, but no one looked away.
After the casket was lowered, the family exchanged condolences and apologies with each other; it felt more lighthearted than before. The mob of black slowly dissolved into their cars and drove off through the cemetery.
Zeke’s mother came over to us and gave us the address of the restaurant where lunch would be served. Apparently it was customary to eat fish, and for the family and friends to remember the good times that they enjoyed with the deceased, a friendlier affair.
I looked up at her and nodded, biting back tears. Ally held me closer; Zeke’s mother smiled at us before joining her husband to leave.
We sat there and watched the wind sweep away undisturbed flakes of snow. The branches of the trees shook back and forth violently as the wind grew fierce. The denim of my jeans was wet now, and stuck to my ass; my shoes were cold and uncomfortable. But I sat there crying as Ally held me like her child.
“He told me he wasn’t going to shoot up with those losers, he told me it was just weed and booze.” Ally sobbed, “Why didn’t he listen to you?”
After the crying stopped we made our way down the driveway of the cemetery toward the exit. “Let’s just sit for a minute,” Ally said as she pulled me toward a snow-covered bench. Everything was quiet now.
She leaned on me as we sat, watching the trees and snow dance with the wind. I glanced out across the field; an empty tree shook violently in the cold. “I just feel so alone,” she sobbed. “What would Zeke want me to do?”
I lowered my mouth onto hers and kissed her, and she kissed me back.
