It’s great to be back for another semester of recreational sporting madness, and what better place to start the year than CO-ED Competitive Indoor Soccer. Having swapped the frosty outdoors for the more sensible and comfortably heated gymnasium, I soon realized it made little or no difference given the heat exchanged between the two teams: The Dirty Oars and The Kings. The sheer competitive dynamic of either team was producing enough kinetic energy to heat the gymnasium on its own; I do not doubt that if we can capture this effectively we could have a new green energy source capable of powering Trent University over the coming years.
First off, The Dirty Oars, who are the varsity rowing intramural recreational sports team, had momentarily swapped their oars and Lycra for a pair of sensible shorts and shin pads; these guys and girls were a force to be reckoned with. I spoke with Mark, the self-proclaimed captain, and he gave me a summary of the ‘resources’ available at his disposal – these players weren’t human-beings, they were just numbered parts of а much bigger well-oiled machine. This practice, I’m told, is followed throughout the sport of rowing. Yet, I soon realized Mark was more than a captain; Mark was more like an authoritarian dictator and he had The Dirty Oars enrolled in a military-precise substitute rotation system. Any player caught overplaying their allotted time or skipping their turn was going to receive a punishment. The unlawful would have to perform one-legged standing squats at the same time as being spanked, repeatedly, by a rowing oar. And could you believe all this whilst swearing allegiance to Trent Excalibur? I was of course shocked, but then again mildly impressed. Although The Dirty Oars looked terrified and at moments close to tears, the team was well organized and extremely industrious on the field of play. The defense and offense moved in harmonic symphony . Often this left its opponents mesmerized and in a state of disarray. At times great gaps were left in the opponent’s defense for The Dirty Oars to exploit like a pack of angry wolves and just before the end of the first half their hard grafting paid off. A quick interchange between numbers 2 and 4 on the edge of the box gave number 6 little to do but to drill the ball into the top right hand corner… jolly marvelous.
In contrast, the opposing team, The Kings, who wore a black strip and were led out by team captain Kay Kanyandula aka José. To imagine these guys, just picture both teams engaged in a ballroom dance competition. The Dirty Oars would be performing the Waltz, a measured dance moving around the floor in a controlled and eloquent fashion, whilst The Kings performed the Mambo. The Kings weren’t concerned with breaking steps or basic steps, they were simply feeling the music, and it was a joy to behold. José, the captain and box to box midfielder, kept the team in check in case any improvising got out of hand. At one stage, the modestly named Superman was pulling out all the stops and his delicate trickery and eagle-eyed vision opened up The Dirty Oars’ resolute defense. Chocolate Drop (I’m not making this up by the way) set things rolling from the back and Thrillz punished The Dirty Oars time and time again.
The game ended a resounding 5 – 3 in favour of the The Kings, and The Dirty Oars were sent packing. I’ve since heard rumors that Mark had them all sent on an extreme rowing training camp and some of them have since been reported A.W.O.L.
In all seriousness, reporting on this game was a really enjoyable experience. There was a feeling of fun and friendship amongst both teams. The Kings who were made up of a group of international students who had met each other at Trent University and the banter between them was amusing. Likewise, The Dirty Oars were made up of fellow rowers and again you could feel the camaraderie and genuine friendship.
If don’t fancy CO-ED Competitive Soccer don’t worry you can still get a team together and play in all kinds of other intramural sports. If you like the sound of getting involved, but not necessarily the sound of Soccer, you need not worry as sports include CO-ED Recreational & Competitive Volleyball, CO-ED Recreational Inner tube Frisbee, Open Competitive Basketball, CO-ED Recreational Snow Frisbee, and Women’s Shinny Hockey.
Intramural Athlete
Profile
Team: The Dirty Oars
Name: Hannah Lewis
Studying: 4th Year Biology
Position: Everything but Goalkeeper
Previous Sporting Experience: Hannah has played Sunday League Indoor/Outdoor Soccer and for the last 4 years and has been involved in Varsity Rowing at Trent University
Pre Match Meal: Vegetable sandwich (strictly no meat)
Inspirational Quote: “Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius power and magic in it.”
