Society used to call hipsters “posers.” I don’t know why they stopped. That is what they are. Hipsters do what they do and act the way they do because they don’t know how else to express themselves. Maybe they are like Charles Dickens’ holiday hating character Scrooge; if they actually ever felt anything they would blame it on indigestion.
It would helpful if I first explain the evolution of the modern hipster. Just in case there is any doubt in this piece so far. First there were hippies. Hippies really have nothing to do with the new hipsters because they actually believed in something. Like one of their mentors Martin Luther King Jr. they had a dream. Of course like most dreams you have to wake up. They dealt with war and human rights. And they were good for the most part. They didn’t care about image. It was about the issues. Yes there were drugs. But unfortunately, there are always drugs. But somehow their clothing ended up becoming a uniform.
Fashion critics took a look at the hippies and then their looks ended up on runways. And that is when the Yippies popped up. Yippies were people that had money and stole hippie fashion. Like the hipsters they had no real idea about who they were or who they wanted to be so they became bohemian. They didn’t understand the point of protests. So the Yippies grew and grew and some became the Yuppies. They cared about money and their lives were empty without luxuries. And those yuppies spawned children. And these children are hipsters. Or most, anyway.
So the hipsters pretend to be interested in The Smiths or The Cranberries in 2012. They wear ironic t-shirts with quotes on them, or characters from 1980s or 1990s television shows. On Facebook they clog up their friends feeds with digital photographs of themselves in front of mirrors or with like-minded friends or acquaintances with sunglasses over their eyes and organic beer in their hands.
Organic is an important thing to hipsters. It is the trend of the week for them and they have decided to covet it to use it as a conversational piece. They like to say that they “shop local.” And they are able to shop local of course because their mecca is urbane cities or big towns where shopping locally is a possibility. If you live in a small town and you try to be a hipster you are lacking one of their fundamentals, the ability to look smug carrying dirty recycled bags filled with turnips and soy extract. In a small town the hipsters just have to be content with drinking their Coca-Cola out of old Smuckers’ jam jars or their mothers’ old mason jars. They do this because they believe they are protecting the Earth by recycling. They fail to see of course that aluminum cans are also blue box worthy and drinking from one does not make you a bad person. Plus they use (and waste) more soap and water on the jars that they happily use over and over again.
Some also have the wrong inclination that they invented vinyl records. So they also go around the music stores buying records that are imported from Japan or the U.K. listening to the bands of yesteryear. Does anyone really need an imported first album by Booker T and the M.G.s? My favourite is when the bands that come out now know that they can market to hipsters so along with selling their music for MP3 downloads or on disc, they go out of their way to make an album like it is 1974 again. It is pathetic and I go out of my way not to buy their music because they are catering to the people who don’t understand their work. They have sold out any creativity and integrity that they ever had when they make their music vinyl when it wasn’t recorded on vinyl. It is like films that are not recorded in 3D but then they are marketed as 3D and altered. The film becomes a fabrication and a farce. All artistic integrity leaves the project like a dieter leaves the dinner table.
I am also offended by the hipster’s belief that they are original and trendsetters. The fact is that what they are interested in is usually older than they are. They look smug in their cat-eye or Buddy Holly glasses. Both styles made famous in the 1960’s by secretaries and a dead singer gone-too-soon respectively. And they are usually wearing glasses that they don’t need. That is what makes you really a poser, when you start wearing glasses not because you need them, but because they are a fashion statement.
We are here to learn at this school. And a lot of what we pick up is the societal cues of our fellow students. So this mock commentary is not about making fun of people it is about making fun of an on-going sad trend. And it is to get to the bottom of why people decide to act the way they do. Maybe people decide to pose because they are not comfortable being themselves. But this is a good time and a good place to realize who we are and to gain perspective and insight into the people who we want to become.
Now is the time to stop posing and acting. Now is the time to just be yourself.
Anonymous
