Aries (March 21- April 19)
You’re pushy, you’re bossy and you expect the world to stop for you and your every need, but that’s what makes you so darned endearing. You never seem satisfied with anything lately, but that will soon pass, and you won’t want anything to do at all.
Taurus (April 20- May 21)
Bitch, bitch, bitch!!! We all know you are living beyond your means but let’s give you credit, you spend the money you don’t have very well. Listen up! Look both ways before you cross the street, always chew your food and don’t be so moody!
Gemini (May 22- June 21)
You seem to be overwhelmed with emotions. Relax take a breather. It’s time for you to collect your thoughts and to put your mind and emotions in sync.
Cancer (June 22- July 23)
You are especially sensitive now and not just your nipples. Just because people look at you doesn’t mean they are up to something. Your usually larger-than-life-personality has taken a back seat to your feelings. Don’t fret though you will be back to your typical self in no time.
Leo (July 24- August 23)
Sarcasm seems to get you everywhere. Take compliments graciously. It seems like nothing stands in your way, except for one small thing… love. When you least expect it, that special someone saunters in, and leaves you speechless and shaking your head. Take it in stride and it will all fall into place.
Virgo (August 24- September 23)
Your tidy ways are turning neurotic. If the dishes pile up and the living room looks as though a hurricane struck, relax. You don’t need to be as perfect as you envision yourself. Enjoy the finer things in life to snap yourself out of the blues.
Libra (September 24- October 23)
Don’t whine so much, and don’t take things so literally. Need we remind you not to butt into other people’s business?! Take responsibility when needed and remember… you can’t always get your way.
Scorpio (October 24- November 22)
Stand up, be proud, yell and scream if you’ve got to, and stop taking crap from other people. Don’t worry so much about people’s opinions and don’t be so scared to be friendly. People will like you if you give them a chance.
Sagittarius (November 23- December 22)
Place your bets carefully, your luck may not be on your side. Business ideas take off in a big way. You may not make much money, but your friends will appreciate your efforts.
Capricorn (December 23- January 20)
Has anyone ever told you that you are far too serious? Do something else other than brood. Things will be looking up for you, even if you don’t smile. You need to get some things off your chest… you’ve got a mouth, use it! Just don’t over do it!
Aquarius (January 21- February 19)
Geez you’re flighty. Put your feet on good ‘ol mother earth, but keep reaching for the stars. If you would settle down for a bit you could finish a lot. Take a deep breath , drink your milk and take it easy for a while.
Pieces (February 20- March 20)
Your fun lovin’ and bar hoppin’ ways keep you on top of the social scene. Don’t forget to do those crunches and get to class. Take everything with a grain of salt after all, everyone really loves you!
