I was one too many in and fading fast. It had been a long night; it was the fourth party we had crashed that night. I leaned myself on the wall by the keg and closed my eyes as I listened to two guys argue about who had the harder classes that semester. Ally was mingling with some girls downstairs whom she had taken a shining to; she left me by the watering hole and told me to come find her when I felt like leaving.
I glanced down the hall toward the stairs anxiously, not sure of what I wanted to happen exactly, anything to break up this inane debate I was listening to. Some other boys were bounding up the stairs; they looked like they were in search of more booze.
“Yo, tap me up man!” the boy with the fitted polo and tilted baseball cap demanded, shoving his cup in my face.
“Yo, do it yourself”, I replied as I unenthusiastically, shoving the cup back towards him.
“What did you say to me?” he shouted, shoving me hard into the wall. We scuffled for a little, shuffling down the hall towards the stairs as we threw punches and pushed each other back and forth. All I could hear was the muffled tugging and the dull thuds of fists finding their marks. People were shouting, but nothing was discernable in the heat of our dance. The douche landed a hard haymaker to my jaw; I heard something crunch but I didn’t relent, throwing all my weight onto to him and wrestling him to the ground just over the top stair. I started to wail on him, only to be dragged off seconds later. The shouting died down while who I assumed was Ally shouldered me down the stairs and onto a couch. It wasn’t Ally.
My vision was still a little distorted from the fight. I looked over the mantle at what looked like a clock, it was quarter past something but I couldn’t tell what. I pulled my phone out of my jeans pocket to read the digital face, but still couldn’t make it out. I turned and faced the person who pulled me out of the fray upstairs. I couldn’t quite place him, but he was strikingly familiar to me, like an old friend who I hadn’t seen in a while. I could taste the blood in the corner of my tingling mouth.
“So what was up with that?” He asked me, sipping his drink. “He clocked you pretty hard, you sure you’re alright?”
“I’m fine, he was just a dick.”
“Yeah but you snapped pretty fast man, you’re usually such a smooth operator.”
“I’m just pissed off is all, what do you care anyway?”
“It takes more than a drunk at a house party to set you off. What have you been hittin’ lately?”
“Why do you care man” I asked him. First he pulled me off a guy who I was about to destroy and now all the questions? This guy was beginning to annoy me.
“Just looking out for you man. Shame about Zeke though, I’m real sorry to hear that. Do you think there was any foul play? People were saying some shenanigans were happening upstairs with him and Angelo.” He didn’t sound sorry; it sounded more reflexive and mechanical than sincere.
“It’s a real shame man, what can I say, the dude was like my brother. What’s with all the questions?”
“I’m just curious as to why a guy who finally got with the girl he’s been chasing for as long as I can remember, is running around gettin’ bent like he wants to die.”
“What are you some kind of stand-up comedian, observational humour is that it?” I chuckled nervously.
“I see a self-conscious young boy who’s scared and doesn’t know what he wants.” His tone wasn’t casual anymore, it was sober and serious. “How many parties have you even been kicked out of tonight?”
“You don’t know me, I snapped. Who the fuck are you anyway?”
“That’s easy, I’m you.”
I gasped awake, taking a number of deep breaths. My hands felt clammy and wet, the cold of the tiles chilled me to my core. The kitchen was bright now, and smelled like warm copper. It was then that I realized I was bleeding from my forehead. I peered up, my sight extremely out of focus, only to find a number of faces peering right down back at me, two of which belonging to Zeke and Ally. I opened my mouth to ask Bonnie and Clyde a question when Zeke piped up.
“Are you alright dude? You hit your head pretty hard”
“Yeah, I think, why what happened?”
“You stood up and smacked your head on the edge of the counter” Ally said, looking genuinely concerned. “We wanted to call an ambulance when you didn’t wake up right away, but we didn’t want everyone to get arrested, so Zeke made sure you were breathing while I warned everyone.” How considerate, I thought to myself, trying to stand up only to groggily fall back onto my ass. “We called 991 though and they’re on there way”.
“You hear that man, everything’s alright” Zeke grinned.
“But you guys,” I flailed around my eyes desperately trying to place reality, “you two were smoking crack!”
“You can’t smoke crack out of a plastic bottle you dumbshit, it’s a gravity bong. You sure you’re alright?” Ally tilted her head quizzically.
“Yeah, you haven’t seemed too hot lately, maybe you need to get some help or something man” Zeke added, taking a long drag from one of his cigarettes.
“Buh-buh-buh-but” I spluttered, “the the the the the funeral! I was at your funeral”.
“Dude, the only thing you’ve been doing all week is been getting shitfaced, with me! Your not doing as well as I thought man. Zeke placed his hand on my lap in a reassuring way as he turned toward the building crowd behind him. “Someone wanna check on that ambulance?” He hollered.
“NO!” I yelled as I got up and barreled my way through the crowd. I flew out the front door and down the steps; as I hit the curb of the street, I slipped on a sheet of ice and hit the ground hard. My head was screaming, I could hear people from the doorway and the siren from down the street. The blue and white strobes pierced the night as two paramedics ran over, one to me and the other up to the house. The one that ran up to the house seemed to 180 about half-way up the steps, and quickly made his way back to his partner and I in the street.
“Young man”, the one kneeling over me said “you’re going to be alright. I need you to tell me your name and exactly what happened.” I looked up, trying my best to look innocent.
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