Dear Trent Arthur:
I am confused and hurt by your response to “Love and Cheese.” I told the story of my relationship candidly, so as to encourage other members of the Fecophiliac that it is okay to express your love in any way you choose. I changed the name of certain locations in order to preserve the integrity of those establishments, as we face more than our fair share of ignorance and those establishments may seek to flush out our presence. For too long have we stayed within the bowels of society, festering with lust for one another. Our only wish is to be accepted, and I had thought that you could wipe away the ignorance which has clung to our practice for so long. Perhaps my account was too detailed for your tastes. If that is the case, then I will not apologize for expressing my love in the way I choose. If I wish to shove shit in my loves tear ducts with a paper clip, then you are an ignorant fecophobe for not accepting me the way I was born. How dare you criticize me for it. This whirlwind romance that I shared with this woman was something that I’ll never forget. It is also something I have been ashamed of for some time. It took me a while to be able to watch Short Circuit 2 again without crying and writhing on the floor like a baby seal. I took the time to contribute something that came from the annals of my heart and push it out for all the world to read. I wanted it to float on the minds of all those who read your papers so that we could get rid of the cling-ons of past ignorance.