Sunsets are magical. It’s as if time stops for a few minutes and you find yourself in the majestic spectacle of hope and all that you’ve lost. The dazzling yellow of the sun gradually crescendos into a shocking pink, torching the evening sky into a multitude of colors.

Admiring the natural transition, on the top of Armour Hill, I could feel the passive cadences of the wind caressing my cheeks, thrusting me deeper into the realms of my thoughts.

Today had been a rather odd day. All day I had been antsy and had been overwhelmed by this agita that I couldn’t get over. For the past four years, every time I have felt low or dejected, I have found comfort at Armour Hill. Today was just one of those days.

Earlier I had engaged in a diatribe with her. She has always been a figment of my wild imagination, a creation of my subconscious, a specter of hope that denudes me of my façade and egoistic tendencies. Bordering on schizophrenia and insanity, I feel mesmerized by the aura of beauty that she projects.

Our conversations often crystallize into heated arguments which, in turn, mutate into battles, and hence it’s war for her. It’s usually me who ends up surrendering and apologizing because the majority of the time it is my fault, but at times I feel that it’s her fault as well and that I would be nice to get an apology or two from her.

Speaking of apologies, I have often pondered about the ideation of forgiveness, and why it’s so hard for people to forgive. For one, a large populous of us feel they need to be convinced a gazillion times over before finally giving in. Maybe it’s the need to feel important, or I don’t know, some people just need love I guess.

Many a time people won’t forgive you because perhaps they feel that the sin is unforgivable and maybe it’s right to banish you from their kingdom of rabbits and unicorns. I’m in no way implying that either of the two are reasons why she is upset with me. She would probably send me to the gallows if she thought I was implying that.

Wait. She exists in my subconscious so she knows what I’m implying? Hey, hey, I was just trying to implicate that you are gorgeous and it’s all my fault. I actually am.

She just pinched me for saying that.

Wait let me just take a sharp turn on the right and lose her in one of the corridors of my brain. Yeah she is gone, just lost her.

Anyways, coming back to what we were talking about earlier. I believe that forgiving is harder than apologizing. It takes a big heart to apologize and even a bigger heart to forgive.

As I always say, life is unpredictable and short and as human beings we are running on a limited power source with quite a few of us already half way through that source. You never know, the person you are not talking to might not even wake up the next day, or get hit by a bus, or fall from the roof, or get eaten by crocodiles.

“Are you listening? Hey I’m talking to you. Don’t roll your eyes when I’m talking to you. Just because you are beautiful doesn’t mean you get your way. Hey stop pinching me for God’s sake. Listen I’m trying to be civil and have a normal conversation with you. So stop ignoring me.”

She never listens, I have given up. No matter how many times I apologize or make her try to understand things, she always turns up the music to drown my voice. Well, I guess here is to an eternity of madness for me.

As for you, all I have to say is, be the first to apologize and the first to forgive.