The Bowlcut: Area Man Really Uncomfortable Not Being the Center of Attention

Photo by Ben White on Unsplash.

March 8 marked the 44th annual International Women’s Day, a day that women around the world are invited to reflect on their place in society and culture.

This, however, came as a surprise to Ben McJamin, a third-year Business Administration and Computer and Information Systems student.

“I had this sick Prezi to give, all by myself, about how I invented MuskCoin,” he said.

MuskCoin is a cryptocurrency that’s value changes every time Elon Musk tweets, McJamin explained.

“I think it’s a really original and fresh idea that the Innovation Cluster should take interest in.”

McJamin continued that he had a suit custom-tailored to give his 10-minute lecture weighted at 5% of his cumulative grade to his 16-person seminar, but was taken aback when another student knocked on the classroom door while he was presenting.

“God, how rude!” he exclaimed as he recalled the event. “And then she had the audacity to apologize for interrupting and offer cupcakes to me and my classmates!”

Some of his classmates took up the offer, which deeply upset McJamin.

“I will never forgive Jenna, Hayleigh, Danika, or the gross one with the pimples for being distracted from my budding genius,” he said, reflecting on the memory with a tear in his eye.

When approached for comment, Parker Cahul noted her confusion with McJamin’s reaction.

“His rage busted his sport jacket at the shoulder seams, which would be impressive if it wasn’t so terrifying,” she said. “Then he hollered that he was being silenced while the seminar leader was asking the girl at the door for the cupcake recipe.”

Despite her confusion, Cahul was not surprised by his behaviour.

“I mean, he somehow talks the most in these seminars despite reading the least,” she stated. “And I know he calls me “the gross one with the pimples.””

McJamin is still recovering from his experience.

“I’m debating transferring schools,” he said matter-of-factly. “I was thinking about Waterloo, Queen’s or University of Toronto. I just know I would be more appreciated there.”

The cupcake-delivering student, Kristyne Natels, offered the following statement: “I bought too many cupcakes for an event happening down the hall for IWD, and I would have hated to see them go to waste.”

About Leina Amatsuji-Berry 50 Articles
Leina Amatsuji-Berry was Arthur's co-Editor-in-Chief alongside Lubna Sadek for Volumes 53 (2018-2019) and 54 (2019-2020). She was Arthur's Digital Media Coordinator during Volume 52 (2017-2018). She is a Trent University alumna, having completed a joint-major Honours degree in English Literature and Media Studies with the class of 2018. Her interests include intersectional social justice, social media, memes, critical theory & philosophy, and fashion. When she is not working, she enjoys writing poetry, drinking tea, and eating burritos and sushi. Her karaoke skills will blow you away.