So the apocalypse is coming. This is not new news. Titles such as “The Rapture,” “The End Times,” “Doomsday,” and “The Day of Judgement” have been tossed around for millenia, but no matter what you call it, it’s all the apocalypse. Such a day has been written about and prophesied as early as 2800 BCE, by an Assyrian who wrote about the “end of days” coming. More famous is the Mayan calendar, which ended on December 21, 2012, making many believe that the Mayans had predicted the last day of life on Earth. Every apocalypse idea is different: biblical floods, raging volcanoes, a new ice age, and even rampant zombies have been theorized to bring about the end of modern civilization. More ideas, like the robot revolution, plague, or nuclear fallout are on the table as well.
But hey, it’s not all depressing! According to a recent study conducted at Trent, the two biggest worries that Trent students have are 1. student debt, and 2. climate change. Statistics Canada estimated that in 2015, the average Bachelor's degree graduate owed $28,000 in debt. And since those in power are doing nothing to halt the incoming environmental disasters that will drown, burn, freeze, or dehydrate us, the single consolation we have is that our student debt will no longer matter. Hooray! Those who survive the End Times will be ravaged by emotional, mental, and physical scars, but at least they won’t have to make monthly payments to a government that no longer exists. So without further ado, here are some quick tips on how to survive Armageddon, without Bruce Willis.
First off, you need to choose your apocalypse team wisely. Consider the following:
Next, you need a super cool homebase:
Now for supplies:
One’s weapon choice is vital to their Character Archetype:
How to build a new future:
All in all, as terrifying as a nuclear fallout followed by an apocalyptic zombie-infested future is, at least it’s not as depressing as thinking about one’s student debt.
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