Rumours of Alfred's death have been greatly exaggerated, as the current insert bears witness to. This horrible little paper, bred in the deepest pits of contempt for ingrained authority, bootlickers, and patsies of all description is the satirical (and deeply stupid) younger brother of Arthur. Be warned: This paper has no redeeming qualities.

With Issue Seven, Arthur's 57th Volume goes out with a proverbial bang. Having survived a malicious libel and defunding campaign wrought by Trent's best and brightest, Arthur is assured another year (at least) of funding. Beyond the top-notch reporting you've come to love and expect, the paper and its contributors come back swinging with "Alfred" - an insert which is not recommended for anyone under the age of 18 or who get offended by things they read.