The Bowlcut

Articles
Dear David: I'm Full of Beans!
Dear David is back to help you cut down on grocery costs, and introduces a not-new national incentive that plays homage to Canada's greatest philosophical mind.
Bowlcut: Champlain Committee Suggests New Name for Controversial College
Following the scandal of 2023's Head of the Trent (HOTT) weekend, the Board of Governors of Trent University reconvened the Champlain Committee with an eye to remedy past indiscretions by giving the college, a longstanding source of controversy, a new name.
Bowlcut: Peterborough Police Chief Longs for Opportunity to Address Media Outside Local Tim Hortons
Since taking over as Chief of Peterborough Police Service, Betts has developed what some consider to be a distasteful habit of holding press conferences from the areas where violent crimes have occurred. According to internal documents from the Peterborough Police Service made available to Arthur in exchange for a sizeable envelope of student money, Police Chief Stuart Betts has made it clear to staff that he hopes the next violent crime in this city occurs in a Tim Hortons’ parking lot in order to save him the trip and time setting up press availability inconveniently far from his favourite donut shop.
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