Hi gang. David here: I write to you with my head hung low and my beautiful, light-brown hair obscuring my handsome cherubic visage in shame. I’m also wringing my hands nervously, looking away from the reader of this missive. 

I made an oopsie-whoopsie. A fucky-wucky. A wittle mistake. 

As you may know, a mistake made in any print issue of Arthur will usually be addressed in our Errors and Corrections section on our Editorial page. Mistakes happen! Nothing’s perfect: It’s the beauty of any learning experience, especially one as public as this 60-year experiment in “fucking around and finding out.”

However! There’s been a serious mistake I need to address before it gets out of control. It’s SO GRAVE that it’s kept me awake at night, tossing and turning with GUILT and SHAME and the WEIGHT OF MY FAILURE.

We’ve decided to risk any Streisand effect to nip any controversy in the bud before it gets so out of control that I have readers showing up to my apartment to be mean to me. It’s been weighing on my mind since we began to distribute this issue, so in the interest of being transparent, I need to own up to my DEEPLY STUPID and EXTREMELY SERIOUS mistake. 

I put the wrong crossword in this latest issue.

As Arthur’s in-house puzzlemaster, it DEVASTATES ME that I did this. It BREAKS my HEART that I GOOFED UP your PUZZLING EXPERIENCE. I’m well aware that the ONLY reason people read Arthur—beyond seeing some kind of swear word in an article—is to DO A LITTLE PUZZLE. It’s a pillar of the Arthur print experience, and I shattered it by BEING OAFISH and DISHONOURABLE and MORALLY BANKRUPT.

I take the creation of Arthur’s puzzles EXTREMELY SERIOUSLY, and also take this mistake EXTREMELY SERIOUSLY. In light of this mistake, I’m being put down. Clearly this mistake means I’m a demented old dog that craves the sweet, finalizing release of euthanasia. 

Anyway! Sorry about that. Here’s the actual puzzle.